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[personal profile] dreamingfifi
I was talking with a friend about my old sporking days, and remembered one of my favorite things that I posted. A lot of the stuff I posted I kinda regret - I was an asshole back then - but this is one thing I did right. Shitty translations are funny, no matter what.

Bitter Song One: Woodpeckers

Woodpeckers of globes of a flat place.
I am a watcher.
Woodpeckers of globes, I order you to sit.
I am to wait.
Woodpeckers of globes, I order you to die.
I cry myself.

Two: Hobbits

Four hobbits I sing with speeding. Lord sea serpent is to eat.
Three hobbits I sing with speeding.
Lord sea serpent is to eat.
Two hobbits I sing with speeding.
Lord sea serpent is to eat.
One hobbit I sings in speeding.
Lord sea serpent is to eat.
Silence.

Three: Here at the end, the end of pretty things.

After blessings, the end of will I order to come. Death of will I order to begin, a life of will of end. The “mennel” of will I order to grow, black, trumpet noise of will I order to halt. Demons of will laughs, will evilish laughs.
A will of it I order to halt?
Out demons! Out evilish!
Flee! Flee!
Birdish I sing! Loud birdish I sing!
I sing and I order you to spin!
Evilish, he or she is here!
Over there is peace.

Four: September

The trumpet noise in rain
Stars in the heaven
Bitter cold in the tune
Dogs of brilliance now.
The trumpet noise in wind
Stars in the gloom
“Gnaew” in the air
Dogs I order you to watch now.

Five: Fire “Vs” Water

Number one is great?
Fire or Water?
Water, I order you to die with fire.
And fire, I Order you to die with water.
A dry fish upon with white heat.
I Order you to flame I Order you to die with “titen” of water.
Over there is “úi” I order you to find a way with knowledge.
Them is a pen.
When I am water and you are fire.
I am wish toward to us “nai” may it be together.
You are hot me upon.
I order you to do myself I Order you to die.
Fire and “Water”
Not the “samei”
A will not “ied”.

Six: Life

The pain long beautiful
After the I order you to hurt pain.
Now I am “can” of it is life.

Seven: Minal

Saving is me! Saving is me! The way bread and “lodio” of a wedge out from me to eat!
The will to eat the window.
The window of will of saving is me.
Saving is me! Saving is me! The window is out from I order you to play the harp me!
The I die.

Eight: The Heaven of Agaria

The heaven of “agaria” with shade black black; a fire with the day of Sun.
The white I cry; the holly trees of “near”;
With the I order you to hurt howling in the wind.
Water of “can” in anger; and the ocean in I order you to die.
I order you to do not tune of left side behind,
The heaven of “agaria”.

Nine: Pippin’s of a Song

Home is beyond the world in face
And over there is a journey great with it walks
Together shade, with the naked in night
Earth is the star of a board of light.
Mist and shadow, cloud and shade.
A board of will grows toward evening! A board of will grows toward evening!

Ten: Loquortus’s of a Song

In the it walks and it waits from pain
Pain to watching the
On this side of on this side of
In the I order you to have a fish to
What in the hope in
Over there may it be
“Gwanog” great over a thing
Not a happy person and “edrai”
Not I order you to fix, a greeting
I am “caral” of terror, if it is great.
Who are you
”Than” with hope in
Oh number one?
What is in the jewel?
I order you to do in the I order you to have with a board?
The third may it be an answer
What will of you of inner heart I order you to speak?
The day that a net plays the harp
Not I order you to fix in day new
I order you to have the new
With eternal life
“Ballas” you are an oppression
Pain you are death
I order you to control and a Vala
Survival with good.

Song Walking

Upon the inner meaning the red fire,
Under the cave over there and a bed;
And a rest in the I came,
Globed the history in the May it meets.
Tree violent or stone walking
“Garcin” not alone of “ma” in the single.
Elm and golden flower and leaf and stiff grass,
They are a high mountain pass! They are a high mountain pass!
A hill and water under the heavens,
A gorge they are “ma”! A gorge they are “ma”!
Globed the history over there May to stop
A new road or secret gate,
And in the high mountain pass they are with a river,
Now in the May to come him is a line
And the journey “noron” secrets
With the moon from the Sun.
Pippin, thorn, and sole of a foot,
They are a board it follows! They are a board it follows!
Ash and a stone and a cold lake and a hole,
“Carle” well! “Carle” well!
Home is beyond the world in face
And over there is a journey great with it walks
Together shade, with the naked in night
Earth is the star of a board of light.
Mist and shadow, cloud and shade.
A board of will grows toward evening! A board of will grows toward evening!
Fire and a lamp, and meat and way bread,
And now with a bed! And now with a bed!

Hear that? Tolkien just rose from his grave to cut some throats.

July 2015

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